Climate Change Conference Executive Secretary ‘Disappointed’ by Lack of Attractive People at Copenhagen Talks

Yvo de Boer, the Executive Secretary of the UNFCCC has spoken of his ‘disappointment’ at the small number of attractive people attending the global talks at the Bella Center in Copenhagen.

‘When I first arrived, the Center was buzzing with activity and I just knew that within a few hours, the place would be Babe Central,’ said the passionate negotiator, ‘but after two days, I regret to admit that my initial excitement was unfounded. Everyone here is very average-looking.’

When quizzed on the problem of the US Senate’s potential obstruction in producing a legally-binding treaty, Mr de Boer replied, ‘When you bring so many people from all over the world together like this, you expect a certain percentage of honeys. This has been a tremendous disappointment.’

Yvo de Boer demands more Copenhagen candy at an impromptu press conference

Chief Negotiator Stefan Troeer echoed Mr de Boer’s frustration, confessing, ‘I only took this job for the foxes. One gets to meet an awful lot of crumpet in this job but Copenhagen must go on record as being the most unsexy conference I’ve ever been to.’

Several other secretaries representing both the rich and developing nations have also weighed into the debate. One anonymous negotiator said, ‘Little is being achieved here in Copenhagen because everyone is so plain. Their clothes are drab and crinkled. Hardly anyone appears to care about hair maintenance. I’ve seen some truly offensive ears and mouths today…There is no doubt that an injection of hotties is very much needed during these negotiations.’

The talks continue until the 18th December.

Neil Devon Remounts – The Best Bits (So Far)

Neil Devon has lost everything since the recession. Join with him on his video blog as he starts all over again. Enjoy a recap of the best bits of Neil’s journey so far.

Neil Devon Remounts – Episode Ten

Neil Devon has lost everything since the recession. Join with him on his video blog as he starts all over again. Episode 10 – Neil has a workout before leaving for his first job interview in ten years.

Evan Davis has Two Silver Rings on the Index and Middle Fingers of his Right Hand – A Poem

Evan Davis has two silver rings on the index and middle fingers of his right hand,
I don’t understand.

I don’t understand,
Why Evan Davis has two silver rings on the index and middle fingers of his right hand
I don’t understand.

They’re very nice rings,
And I’m sure they signify all sorts of things,
But I don’t understand,
Why Evan Davis has two silver rings on the index and middle fingers of his right hand.

Basically I’m finding it hard to make my expectations of how a business
news reporter should conduct his or herself fit comfortably with Evan Davis’s seemingly reckless finger decoration.

They distract me when,
I watch Dragon’s Den.

Neil Devon Remounts – Episode Nine

Neil Devon has lost everything since the recession. Join with him on his video blog as he starts all over again. Episode 9 – Neil visits American life coach Lesley Angel who gets more than just a new client.

Neil Devon Remounts – Episode Eight

Neil Devon has lost everything since the recession. Join with him on his video blog as he starts all over again. Episode 8 – Neil goes for a drastic image change.

Neil Devon Remounts – Episode Seven

Neil Devon has lost everything since the recession. Join with him on his video blog as he starts all over again. Episode 7 – It’s the night of Neil’s birthday and Neil is in reflective mood, which spells ‘trouble’ for Mr. Twitchy the house rabbit.

(more)

Neil Devon Remounts – Episode Six

Neil Devon has lost everything since the recession. Join with him on his video blog as he starts all over again. Episode 6 – It’s the afternoon of Neil’s birthday and after a heated phone conversation with his ex-wife over visiting rights, Neil takes the law into his own hands.

Neil Devon Remounts – Episode Five

Neil Devon has lost everything since the recession. Join with him on his video blog as he starts all over again. Episode 5 – It’s the morning of Neil’s birthday and Neil is in a party mood.

Today I Saw a Woman in Clapham Common Being Stalked By Her Ex-Lover (Who Just Happens to be an Ice Cream Man)